Handfasting, Tying the Knot, Lovers Knot - A very popular inclusion in weddings in many different cultures, religions and spiritualities.
But what is the difference?
From my experience, many types of hand binding have similar meanings. Actually most inclusions will have a similar theme - Unity. The bringing of 2 into 1.
Handfasting in particular, is a form of betrothal from Celtic times, like a period of engagement. Usually the Elder of the village or Clan would bind the hands together, however what is seen as modern paganism celebrates handfasting in a much more ceremonial fashion.
We use a choice of materials for ceremonies, whereas a Family Tartan or rope would have been used in years past.
Most neopagan weddings will include a handfasting. Here in Australia there aren't a lot of religious pagan weddings, it is more common to include the Australian Legal requirements into a Handfasting ceremony. That also gives the Bride and Groom creative flexibility in their ceremony.
For what it's worth, I am an Ordained Priestess in a recognised Wiccan Tradition, and I have in the past and still continue to preside over many rituals and ceremonies as Priestess. Whilst my love of ceremony and ritual has never waned, I prefer to be ecclectic in my practices, choosing to not affiliate with a religion (even a pagan one) when I became a celebrant.
I value my learnings, but like many of my clients it seems, I don't need dogma to guide my life.
Handfasting is the binding of the brides and grooms hands. Speaking for myself, I like to perform this part of the ceremony after the vows have been said, it's a visual sealing of those vows. You can include others in this part as well. Family and friends to present different cords, grandparents, parents, special someones can even 'tie the knot'. I'm not precious, I don't mind taking a backseat. If it is meaningful to the couple, it is meaningful for me.
Different colour ribbons have different meanings. As a rough guide, here are some generic correspondences.
White: Purity and Spirit
Purple: Royalty and Spirituality
Red: The element of Fire, Passion, Creativity and Love
Yellow: The element of Air, new beginnings, the sun, warmth
Blue: The element of Water, emotion, cleansing
Green: The element of Earth, stability, groundedness
Gold: Money and Prosperity, The God (Masculine) aspect
Pink: Self love, Romance
Silver: The Goddess (Feminine) aspect, Intuitivness
Black: Union, balance, strength
These are just basics, the wonderful thing about colour and creativity, is that you can have it mean anything - you decide it's meaning, and use it how it applies to you.
As you can tell, Handfasting is my thing. I have done so many variations of it, and in all this time, not one has ever been the same. I suggest to my couples that after the ceremony and honeymoon are done, when the dust settles and you go back to living life in the everyday, hang your handfasting cord up in the house, next to a picture of you on your wedding day. That way, it serves as a reminder of your vows, and your commitment to each other, and your marriage.
Lovers Knot or True Love Knot apparently was originally used by sailors, who would have associated a lot of meaning to knots considering how vitally important correctly knotted ropes are on board a ship/
Much more intricate
Tying the Knot is a more active way for the Bride and Groom to participate. Rather than have a third party tie the knot for them, they work together to tie it themselves.
Of course, these are just 3 examples of using cords or ribbons in wedding ceremony. I did a wedding many years ago where the ribbons that bound the bride and grooms hands then extended out to be held by all their guests who stood in a circle around them, so essentially they were in a ring that included every participant - except me who was ducking and weaving and giving directions. Beautiful, but a lot of choreography for that one.
This is an example of a simple handfasting ceremony I did for a couple of lovely ladies last year. It's a beautiful way to cleanse not just the rings, but the hands as well - signifying a fresh start.
Note it's not the whole ceremony, just the part involving the hands.
Hand washing ceremony Nicole holds a bowl filled with sea water and a hand towel. Rings are hung on a cord and dipped in the water.
' Hands are a wonderful part of our body. With our hands we can give comfort, express love and show kindness. Today, in front of your family and friends, you start your life together anew as a couple. As with any new endeavor, it is best to start with a clean slate — putting problems big and small behind you. You come acknowledging that the person you have chosen is not perfect, yet fits with you in a way no other person can. Whatever difficulties you may have experienced, today you have decided that your love is bigger than any of them, and you have chosen a life together. Water brings forgiveness and we all need forgiveness. We need to forgive others and we need to forgive ourselves.
As you wash your hands in this bowl of water, forgive yourself and each other for any pain in the past. Allow yourself to be forgiven for your human imperfections.'
Couple washes their hands.
'Allowing yourselves to have your hands dried by each other signifies your vulnerability. And we have to be vulnerable — it breaks through isolation and in our own vulnerability, we become more caring and understanding of our mate. In a loving and compassionate union, to achieve the greatest intimacy, you must have the courage to be open and vulnerable to each other. '
They dry one another's hands.
'Do you begin your lives together with grace and compassion?'
Couple: We do.
'May your hands always reach for each other in times of need. May you find warmth and belonging with just the touch of a hand. In times of sadness, sorrow or anger, may you see the small wedding ring on your finger and know that it was love that placed it there, and that love always endures lifes difficult moments in time. X, please take X’s hands in yours and together hold your wedding rings A circle is the ancient symbol of wholeness and peace: though our lives on this earth are brief, love itself is everlasting. It is the creative force that binds us together, and the force that brings new life. The fitting of these rings, with their unending circle, symbolises the everlasting love you have for each other. The placing of this ring on your finger is the daily reminder of your vows, to have each other as friend and confidante, lover and partner.' Vows
'X, only you can consent to commit yourself to this woman who stands here beside you. Knowing her as you do, and knowing the relationship that the two of you share, do you take X to be your wife? '
'Then give this ring to her as a symbol of your love. Place it on the tip of her finger and repeat after me' With the persons here present as witnesses, I (full name), take you (full name), to be my lawfully wedding wife. 'X, as you hold this ring in your hand, allow yourself to feel all of the love that you feel for this woman. Now it is time for you to speak the truth of your heart to your beloved' (Personal Vow)
'X, only you can consent to commit yourself to this woman who stands here beside you. Knowing her as you do, and knowing the relationship that the two of you share, do you take X to be your wife?'
'Then give this ring to her as a symbol of your love. Place it on the tip of her finger and repeat after me' With the persons here present as witnesses, I (full name), take you (full name), to be my lawfully wedding wife.
'X, as you hold this ring in your hand, allow yourself to feel all of the love that you feel for this woman. Now it is time for you to speak the truth of your heart to your beloved'
(Personal Vow) Handfasting 'We now consider the symbolism of handfasting: the tying of the knot that will join the couple together. This is a traditional form of betrothal, these days, the period of engagement is a more readily used term, but the act of handfasting is still a symbolically beautiful and meaningful inclusion in any ceremony. In this case, the knot; that ties the two ends together, is the binding of the vows we have heard X and X exchange today. It represents their sincere and hopeful intention to make an unbreakable, strong, honest and long lasting union.'
Take the handfasting ribbon from their box.
'After the ribbons are tied, X and X will then remove their hands from the knots by slipping their hands out, the knots will remain tied, and their vows bound.'
(right over left – cross over – left over right)
'Now raise your hands together, so that all may see. '
Lift their hands up so everyone can see
'Made to measure, wrought to bind, blessed be, these lives entwined! The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.'
Check out My Instagram Page - IvyWed Weddings by Nicole
and Facebook IvyWed Weddings by Nicole
Call me to discuss your wedding ceremony and how we can make the magick happen
#weddings #wedding #love #weddingideas #marriage #weddingceremonies #themeweddings #castle #idyllceremonies #melbournecelebrant #weddingsinmelbourne #melbourneweddings #weddingvendor #loveceremonies #handfast #alternativeceremonies #medievalceremonies #inclusiveweddings #loveislove #yarravalleyweddings #elopements #yarrarangesweddings #yarrarangescelebrant #yarravalleycelebrant